Sybille Bedford writes somewhere that when you’re young you don’t feel that you’re a part of the whole, of the fundamental premise for humanity, that when you’re young you try out lots of things because life is just a rehearsal, an exercise to be put right when the curtain finally goes up. And then, one day you realise that they curtain was up all along. That it was the actual performance.

Vigdis Hjorth, ‘Will and Treatment: a novel’